Saturday, November 6, 2010

Just Another Day in Paradise

My hubby was in one of our top vacation spots this week. Without me. Boo. He had work meetings, which left me here with just good memories of the times we've spent in Cyprus. Oh how we love Cyprus. A 30 minute flight and we are in EU paradise.

One of my vacation memories, however, is not such a good one. In fact it is a memory of mine in which I thought at the moment: "so THIS is how I'm going to die". A bizarre thought indeed!


We went on a day trip with a diving company. The plan was to enjoy a boat ride along the coast as a family. We would pull into a cove, which the dive master had discovered, and proudly announced was "un-accessible by land, only by sea". He told us how beautiful the sand was and the rocks and the clear water and how the shore was lined by caves. The kids and I would play there while the guys (hubby and diver guy) did their dive trip. They would come back to get us and we would eat lunch on the secluded beach. I was excited. And it was just as he described it. Secluded Paradise!



The plan was playing out perfectly. The kids and I were basking in the secluded glory of our own little slice of the universe for the day. The guys were off exploring caves and other creepy interesting underwater things. That is when something caught my eye.
A man.
No, two men.
Scaling the cliff by the water.
Onto OUR secluded beach.
Dirty.
Wearing old Army camo clothes.
Handcuffed together.
Walking toward me.

Instantly my mind flashed to the horrible events that my poor children were about to witness. Convicts. Criminals. Me. Caves. There was no good ending to this story. THIS was how I was going to die. I was going to be on CNN!

The two men came toward me. In very broken English, they asked if I had anything they could use to pick the lock on their handcuffs.
I said NO.
They pointed to the bobby pin in my hair.
I said NO again.
Then they asked if they could drink some of my water.
I said NO.
Then they walked away.

I thought I was doing a pretty good job disguising my utter fear in front of my children. I was proud that I stood my ground. NO I was not going to help them!  I may be on CNN for being killed by escaped criminals, but I was NOT going to help them. I had my standards!

Then, to my dismay, they went over by one of the caves and found a large rock. They put their handcuffed hands down on one rock and picked up the other rock and started trying to smash the handcuffs apart.

Great, I thought, now that I did not help them, they were going to help themselves, break out, and then come do all those horrible things I had imagined.

Don't forget. I am on a secluded beach. Alone. With my small children. My husband is around the coast, out of sight and 10 meters under water. I was a goner!

The camo criminals successfully smashed themselves out of the handcuffs. And climbed up over the cliff on the land side. Out of sight.

Had I just imagined that whole thing?
Would anyone EVER believe me when I told them what happened?

It was bizarre.

Time passed and my heart slowly started beating again. The dive boat pulled back into the cove. I was going to survive! As I approached the dive boat to greet everyone, something caught my eye. There they were again! The two smashed apart handcuffed camo criminals were hiding/laying in the bottom of the dive boat. Was this a hostage situation? Were they just covering their tracks by planning to take out my only witnesses before taking me out?

Nope.

They were a bunch of Cypriot military guys on a three day survival adventure as part of their basic training. They had to rely on any help they could get to survive.

I gave them a drink of my water.

And then I wondered if I watched too much nightly news for all those dooms day scenarios that were playing through my head the whole time.

I did have my wits to snap this photo as they walked around the cove and joined up with their other mates and hit up another innocent tourist for some help. Don't ask me why the tourist appears to be in his underwear, with his car, on this supposed "SECLUDED BEACH UN-ACCESSIBLE BY LAND!"

Maybe the dive shop guy was the true criminal. We will never know!


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