Monday, October 26, 2009

Survival of the Fittest

The real problem with trashy cats is that survival of the fittest is the rule of the cement jungle. Truly only the meanest, nastiest, biggest, and fittest survive. Evidently our local trashy cats are not quite up to that caliber.

Last night one died in front of our house.

Sure enough, Hitler’s second kitten (and who was the only remaining of four) was rummaging in the dumpster, when a car drove by and spooked it. Evidently Hitler had not practiced car evasion enough with the inexperienced kitten, and he jumped right into the path of an oncoming 86 Mercedes. I did see a slight drift of the steering wheel towards the feline.

The Mercedes won.

Seems I’m not the only one with a dislike and somewhat sadistic lean towards these satanic beings.

There were reports by the neighborhood boys of an eyeball rolling in the street, as well as several other gory details. The boys gathered around and ceremoniously gave it a respectful burial by throwing it into the dumpster via its tail. Hitler wandered around as if nothing happened. No grieving, no remorse, and the pride stayed clear of the dumpster.

I hate cats.




Hitler and his spouse (thus far unnamed) are now kitten-less. No doubt there’ll be some late nights and another litter of trashy cats to deal with soon. If survival of the fittest is in play here, it seems that Hitler might have to pick a different mother for his offspring. Their first litter didn’t have the right stuff evidently.

3 comments:

  1. So what I want to know is, have you always hated cats, or is it because of the brand of cat by which you are currently surrounded that you feel such animosity towards the feline set?

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  2. Just so you know...I am 'okay' with cats. We had a cat/mountain lion when I little that was a bit psycho, so maybe that set me on a bad path. Then we discovered my sister was very allergic to cats, so that ended my cat career. Moving here just put me over the edge a bit mainly because of the complete nasty-ness of them. For the record, I would smile at and pet a cute, clean, fluffy cat sitting in a sunny window at someones clean house where the trash is properly stored :).

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